Being your true self is so important and if you continuously start ignoring it, one day you can even feel like killing yourself. This is the gist, according to me, of another marvelous novel by Paulo Coelho. Either this person is genius or I have an infatuation for his words. I started the novel with a hope that this time, he is going to tell me something that I do not know; this time he will say something different, but to no use. I found the first half of the novel pretty boring. I put it back onto my shelf but then one night my love for Coelho compelled me to pick up the novel again and then I finished it in one go. And THANK GOD, I did it, otherwise I would have missed something nice.
Did he tell me something new this time? No! I know, have always known, being your own self is very important for a happy living. It is important that you be what you are and not what others want you to be. However, Coelho presented this simple thought in such an intense manner with so minute examples and that too from the mundane life that it left me shivering. After finishing the book, I realized why I am so low at times; what is it that hurts me; why, after having a perfect life, I crave for something unknowable. He also brought home an idea that to create an awareness of living, an awareness of death is important. Just imagine that you are going to die in a week. Your doctor has told you that you just have 7 days. How will you live those days? Fulfilling others' expectations? Or living the way you want to? I would prefer the latter one. And how would it feel to live each day with this thought in mind that this is MY LAST DAY! May be life would be too brighter and happier with this awareness of death. But is it possible to live this awareness each day? How many times of the day I am busy thinking what others think about me? Am I hurting them? Should I behave more properly? Why does she/he behave in such a manner? What does she/he expect from me? All these questions and tensions are enough to mar the true happiness of life. We, at least I am, are so busy analyzing our own selves that soon we forget who we are and start living what others want us to be.
But this thought again brings a new angle to the situation - does it mean that I should not be bothered with anybody's feelings and start living the way I want to live and doing things the way I want to do them? But what if I am hurting a loved one in the process? Is it my responsibility? Where can I draw the line? I don't know. I am not able to find answers for these questions but surely at times, it feels great to do what you wish to, to say what you wish to, to feel whatever way you want to - without pondering over the question Am I hurting somebody?
Going back to the book, I think its quite interesting - the second half. Awareness of death can actually bring a fresh breeze of awareness of life!
